I Came Home

...for awhile anyway.  My time in Portugal had run it's course.  When we started out, it was 6 months to a year.  I did 9 months.  Since Wendi will be leaving @ the end of July to have baby #4, on 9/5, in South Florida, and my Portuguese visa expired on June 17th - we agreed that rather than spend the time and money for another 3 month visa extension (to leave in a month), we'd call it good.
I said goodbye to the Kitsteiner family on the morning of June 10th and was having Japanese dinner in Boston, MA by 6p.  I awoke in the USA on my 50th Birthday!  Such a gift, I didn't care if not one person remembered it was my birthday! I arrived to my home in Petoskey (his dad moved in w/his girlfriend for a few weeks to give me time to get my ducks in a row) on June 11th @ 11:55pm.  Bleu was so confused by the 4 strangers standing in the driveway, I didn't get the doggie cartwheels I'd hoped for, but we have reconnected since then.
I had a few days to unpack my clothing, shoes, toiletries and jewelry I'd shipped ahead of me.  I sifted through some storage boxes to find my REAL blue jeans - aaaah, Levi Strauss - and repacked the shipped boxes, leaving room for more.
The boys' dad hadn't fully moved into the house, so I fought through jet lag by packing away my dishes, pots & pans and towels and unpacking his and putting them in place.
By Monday, I started back @ the Petoskey News Review to help them out (30 hours a week), until I move to NW Indiana by end of July.  I have been home for exactly 2 weeks.  I found a little '98 Honda Civic for $800 (needs 2 new tires, a tune-up, wheel bearings, coolant flush and some transmission fluid); had catch up visits w/4 friends; catch up phone calls with many more; calls about Organizing jobs, the move to Indiana and looking for a place to rent.  I'm putting it mildly when I say that I've barely had a moment to myself since my return.
I did a 5 hour Organizing job yesterday and booked another for next Friday and am planning a trip down to Indiana for a long weekend mid-July.  I need to do an Organizing Assessment for a big job mid-August, make appointments to look @ rentals and will be doing a large 2 day Organizing job that weekend.
Little moments surprise me:  Leaving the grocery store and suddenly thinking, "ooooh, it's so NICE to just run to the grocery store when I want and buy what I want!"; every night when I go to bed, it feels so good to be in my room, in my bed.  In the mornings I can go downstairs in my pj's; use the shower on the same floor as my bedroom; having my own bathroom w/just my stuff in it; taking my dog for a walk or a ride in the car; using the full capacity of my brain again and the biggest two?  1) Using my cell phone! - anytime I want; and 2) Conversing w/people over the age of 45!  No disrespect to the Lajes friends, but one cannot understand what it is like to be 49-50 years old, spending 9 months of one's life not having a real conversation with ANY.ONE over the age of 37...until they're 50.  Anyway, the theme, I think is that while I loved my time in Portugal, I really missed my independence - such that I didn't fully realize until I returned.  Once I found a car, I felt the missing 1/4 of independence connect up with the rest.
And then tonight, I came home from the newspaper, feeling a little frazzled from the loose ends of not having enough time to do everything I need to do.  I browsed through my Facebook and teared up a little when I saw this photo:

Lindsey & Sam Helfrich

and this photo:

Mianna Arrington

and this one:

Scrubby

 and so I stopped looking :)!  I miss them.  These 3 especially were my "places" (safe place, laughter place, social fun place, mutual conversation place, physical affection place) and so, so special to me.

Word from the Kitsteiner compound is that the week after I left, Wendi's 24 hour morning sickness finally dissipated.  Poor thing was sick in one form or another (from mild to severe) from my arrival in September, 2012 through June 16, 2013.  None of us knew that would transpire, but God did and I was there for such a time as 7 days shy of exactly that.  When Wendi and the 4 kids return to Portugal in October 2013, John's parents will be with them for the duration of John's military assignment there and beyond.  They'll need someone more helpful with the 4 little ones (ages 5, 4, 2 and 0) and God knew that too!  Who better than Gramma and Grandpa K?

My next adventure looms close and I am balancing the joy it is to be back in beautiful Petoskey, MI w/the anxiousness for the new adventure to start.  I will be working w/a 12 year established & successful decorative paint business:  Coats of Many Colors.  She will be working with me, I with her, teaching each other our trades to broaden our own business' and enhance each others.
...by August 1st.  There's the move, unpacking and making my new place my home, setting up new bank accounts, registering my business there, finding an Accountant and a Lawyer, etc. and diving into working every day, starting my first week there.  Though it was great to see my parents for a light dinner in GR, prior to the 3 hour drive to Petoskey, I told them that I most likely wouldn't see their new digs (Retirement Home in Holland, MI) until Fall, 2013.  I need time to get settled and I realized, it will be the first time I've ever lived entirely on my own!
My closest friends live down there as does family.  I imagine that I will be pulled toward get-together's but those may have to suffice w/enlisting their help to unpack me and set up house.  Mix in some wine and good music - better than any restaurant right?
Bleu will not be joining me in Indiana, as he has become Colin's dog.  Since I will be working so much, it wouldn't be fair to put an 8 yr. old country raised dog, into a small apartment, just so that I feel better when I get home.
I am humbled by the many offers from dear friends that have a room for me, to give me time to find a place, but my goal is to move once and have my own place.  It will be interesting to see how this all unfolds.   I'm trusting God in the details.
For now, I keep an on-going list of calls to make, things to take care of and I'm taking it one day @ a time.  Yesterday, I Organized for and with one of my very favorite clients, that I work w/annually, and Colin got his Drivers License.  Today I worked @ the newspaper from 8:30a-5:15p, made a Consignment drop off appointment, called a Realtor in Indiana, sorted through 6 bags of books to drop off to Charity and had grilled chicken and green beans dinner made by and with Colin. Tomorrow I take Colin to work by 6:45A, drop off my Honda to the mechanic by 7:30A, work @ the newspaper all day and pick Colin up from work by 4P.  Friday will be 1/2 day @ the newspaper and getting Colin to & from his 1-4P class @ work and meet another friend for Happy Hour @ The Knot in Bay Harbor.
There, I'll have about 2.5 hours Friday and the weekend for more packing, getting some phone calls made and catch up on a lot of computer work.  I'm determined to walk Bleu @ the beach, along the Bay and hike through Bear River somewhere in there as well.

I Call Her Princess Abigail

I'd like to say a word in her behalf - Abigail makes me laugh

October 2012

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?  
How do you find the word that means Abigail? 
A flibbertigibbet, a willow the wisp, a clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her  
Many a thing she ought to understand  
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say 
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? 
When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather.  
She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb
She'll out pester any pest, drive a hornet from it's nest.  
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl.  
She is gentle, she is wild, she's a riddle, she's a child.  
She's a headache, she's an angel, she's a girl

She was 14 months when I first met her and the lyrics to the song from Sound Of Music above, with her name inserted, pretty much sum up this little girls affect on me..

For the first few months I described her as such:  "She cries almost all the time...with moments of happiness".   She had sign language for "please" "all done" "milk" and "eat".  Her only words were Mama, Dadda and Yeah.
By now, I would describe her as "A happy, silly, sweet baby with moments of sad, mad or that she hurt herself."  She has gained a broader spectrum of communication.  signing for: "thank you", "juice" and "I'm sorry" and she made up her own sign for "snack"!  Her words:  Brother (braada)  Elijah (Yijah)  Cow (moo)  Cheese (chssss)  Boat (boat!)  Baby (describing her dollies or most often herself) and Scrubs (Baba).  There is also Nooooo!

Oh how she loves her brothers, mommy and daddy!  Her main word and woman is Mama.  When her daddy pulls in each night, she runs for the door, yelling, Dadda!!  Last night, John was walking upstairs with her, "How did I get so lucky to get you as my girl?"  She responded with a very matter of fact,  "Mama"

She greets me every single day as if she's been just waiting to see me, with an "Ooooooooh" or an "Awwwwww" as she is running to hug me.  Sporadically throughout each day, she'll come running into my legs, bury her head, and wrap her arms around them with a smiling, "Aaaaaaah".  She loves to engage and be tickled, thrown over my shoulder, carried w/bouncing involved, held upside down.  She has a hilarious fake laugh.  She likes to growl w/you and then just cracks up.  And when asked, you pick her up and she, @ the very least rubs or pats your back - pretty sure it's sign for "I love you", but mostly will just burst out with a big hug around the neck.  Just recently she went from pushing her cheek into your face when you ask for a kiss, to smooshing the front of her face into the front of ours and she rarely says no.

Often, Tuesday nights, the family would go to Awana's on base.  It took a couple of weeks, but rather than bellow with cries of protest, she would wave bye-bye and then we would eat dinner.  When she was done, she would run to the cabinet that held her little pink bowl and upstairs we'd go for her bath.  She would set her now filled with mini-marshmallows pink bowl on the window sill, then fresh from her bath, in her jammies, she'd grab the bowl, scramble onto the big living room chair and pat her hand next to her for me to sit.  Then she'd point to the big screen TV and say, "no" as I channel surfed until we got to the National Geographic Channel, say "yeah" - then excitedly put her hands into her lap and look up @ me with the sweetest smile - it was time to open the pink bowl for marshmallows.  If John or Wendi decided to stay home on a Tuesday night, I would authentically be close to upset with disappointment, but just pretend I was relieved and until they read this, not sure they ever caught on to the truth.

We may be kindred spirits in that when we're feeling a little moody, it's hard to hide; as well as our healthy appetite for life and food and willingness to try anything - with a great appreciation for John's magnificent meals!

I leave her now, when she is 23 months - she will be 2!!! (on 7/16).  I think this might be my new favorite picture of her:

 

Goodbye for now little lady - Ridiculous how much I love you.

We Call Him Sidge

That is...everyone calls him Sidge, except his baby sister, Abigail, who is the only one he doesn't correct whenever she calls, "yijah" (and sometimes his daddy goes unchallenged, when being firm, calls him by his surname "Elijah Luke").  Sidge is what his 8 month older brother called him before he could pronounce his name and hence Elijah has decided his name is Sidge.
I first met him when he was 3 years, 8 months old:

October 2012

He greeted me immediately with a huge hug and began telling me all about his toys, on a very early morning of September 24, 2012.
He is full of energy and intensity.  By intensity I mean he is passionate - about his thoughts, his emotions, his joys, his sorrows, his love, his ideas, his imagination, his toys, his frustrations, his anger,  whatever he is learning, about being his daddy's Sous Chef, about his baby sister and his brother - just everything.
I leave him now when he's 4 years, 5 months old.
When I 1st arrived, he talked so fast, I could barely understand him, consistently requiring his mom's translation.  I would often tell him to slow down and tell me again, slower so that I could understand him.  He would just repeat it as fast, but without really making eye contact.  One day I said, "Sidge, hold my eyes when you are talking, keep looking at me..."  He reached up and cupped his hands around the sides of my eyes and repeated what he said. 
He was quick to connect, and it took me a minute to adjust myself from my quiet life with grown sons, to being around this ball of bright energy.  He talks very fast and he likes to stand very close, when one is at eye level and often turning your face to his, if he isn't sure you're paying full attention.  I have found him to be happiest when doing something with him.  It could be anything.  He is just thrilled to be with you and engaging in conversation.  He is so sweet.  When he runs out of steam and things get quiet for a few moments, he'll say, "Aunt Connie?" and I may catch myself braced to answer the 700th question of the day, trying not to sound a little exasperated, "Yes Sidgey" and he comes back with, "Aunt Connie, I LOOOOOVE you."  Gulp.
It's still that way.  At the most random times.  One day I was pushing him in the grocery cart.  His siblings were up ahead with his mom and he was quiet for a moment.  I found myself exhaling, not realizing @ the time that he was stroking my hands, studying them, he said, "Aunt Connie?"  "yes darlin?"  "Aunt Connie I just LOOOOOVE you."  Gulp, "I love you too Sidge."  He: "What is this line in your hand, is it your knuckle?"  "No, that is my vein, my knuckles are here."  He: "Listen, well what is a vein?"  He loves whenever I sing silly songs, lately it's been "Weeeee're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz....because, because, because, because.....because of the wonderful things he does!"  and he loves to hold the 2nd to last "Because" as long as he can with both his arms wide and extended upwards.
Our "thing" is to go to Cafe Bean together on base.  I took him there the other day and bought him his regular muffin and juice.  Got him all set up @ a table and waited for my latte.  When I sat down, he said with a big smile and warm tone, "I KNEW you would sit right next to me!"  Now and again we have taken a walk along the ocean boardwalk.  He walks on the wall, holding onto my hand and tells me everything in his little head, the entire walk.  When I asked him what he thought he would do when my boys came to visit, he told me, "I will just show them everything around this island and tell them everything I know about this island!"
Especially in the last 3 months, he readily gives me big hugs and kisses any time I ask.  He likes to sit on my lap if we're watching a dvd or I'm helping to tighten his shoes.  Snuggly and affectionate.
Today, I was asking him and his brother the Super Hero names. Sidge's rendition went something like this:  "Well, there is Batman and he fights bad guys Penguin, Joker, Mr. Freeze and Two Face.  Spawn is a bad Spiderman and Bazaro is a bad Superman and there is Flash, and I am fast like Flash.  I'm so fast you can probably hardly see me!" -- like all in one breath with so many expressions having crossed over his face, with hand motions and all.
He wants to learn everything, his brain is like a sponge.  And he is so animated, you'd swear you can see his wheels spinning in his head to track and learn whatever you tell him.  We climbed the rocks by the ocean the other day and I'd told him to watch out for the crevices.  I told him today that if the weather is good, tomorrow I will take him to climb the rocks.  His response was, "Okay, and we will watch for the crevices and we will not climb the treacherous rocks!"
The funniest story recently that still makes me laugh is after John and Wendi told the boys that the baby inside mommy's tummy was a girl.  They took a minute to understand this, so John said, "So, just like you are brothers, you and Abigail are going to have a baby sister."  I remember their response being sort of anticlimactic.  Days later when Joni was visiting, Wendi told Sidge to tell Joni what the baby in mommies tummy is going to be.  Sidge told Joni, very emphatically, "Listen, well Abigail is gonna have a baby sister!"  Joni said, "So if Abigail is going to have a baby sister, that means you are too right?"  Sidge, "No, just Abigail.  We don't need one because we already have one."
This is the most recent photo I have of him:

 Goodbye for now Mr. Sidge.  I sure do love you little man.

I Call Him Sir Isaac

My favorite photo of him - late October 2012

We first met when he was 4 years, 4 months old.  Back then he called me, "Aunt Twonnie".  He is mostly quiet and polite, until the bewitching hours between 4-7P where he loves to drive me crazy by being bouncey and very verbally noisey.  He was slow to connect, and it took me a minute to understand that his touching my behind or the back of my leg, was his way of trying to engage me.  I learned quickly that he always approached from behind or an angle from which neither I could see him directly, nor others would notice.  I caught on early to just be around him, heed his cautions to approach him very subtly.  That language remains between us for the most part.  I can be working in the garden and feel a light touch across my back - sure enough I'll turn and watch him dashing away with a quiet smirk, sometimes a giggle...or I'll be chatting w/someone and feel an arm around my leg, from behind.  My response bodes well as a silent acknowledgement w/a hand tap on his head or shoulder and sometimes he'll linger there as long as he goes unnoticed by others.   Over time we seemed to speak the same language in playing with each other as well.  He's the guy you want to sit and color with.  He's the guy you want to sit and build things with.  It's quiet, steady and then, "Aunt Connie, what color do you need?" or I will ask him, "Isaac, I need your help.  What color should I use on this".  He takes that very seriously and sometimes likes to discuss it.  Or things will be quiet for a long while and he'll ask, "Auntie Connie, do you think this is beautiful?" or as we're each focusing on our separate puzzles or building, "Auntie Connie, can I tell you something?"  and then he'll tell me, just one thing, just one sentence worth that is very relevant to the task @ hand.
He has a subtle dry sense of humor and we seemed to "get" each other.  If he's not in the mood for me messin' with him, he'll say, "No fanks" and I just leave him alone.  Then, anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour or so will pass and suddenly, I'd feel his little hand in mine and just as suddenly it'd be gone, hearing him giggle as he dashed away = his way of letting me know he was out of his funk and ready for my attention.

I leave him when he's 5 years, 1 month old.
When I 1st arrived, he had no interest in coloring.  Now, he loves to sit and color for long periods of time, by himself or with others.
We had a "date" yesterday.  First, we took a walk to the Cafe around the corner.  As we walked out the gate, he slipped his hand in mine, told me which way we would go and with a big smile said to me, "Hey Auntie Connie, do you want me to sing you my favorite song?"  Me: "Of course Sir!"  And he sang, with a huge smile and watching my reaction closely, "Weeeee're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz....because, because, because, because.....because of the wonderful things he does!"   The story behind that is that this is a song I have been singing with his little brother for weeks now.  He never had a reaction to it one way or the other, while his brother would elongate the 2nd to last "because" with his arms outstretched.  Isaac never once sang along, never even seemed to be paying attention.  Then, when it's just the 2 of us, he slips his hand in mine and that's the song he sings to me as his favorite.
Okay, so we arrive @ the Cafe and he wanted the same thing that I chose - so I chose a strawberry drumstick, his favorite.  When he decided we had enough room in our tummy's for one more, he chose another strawberry drumstick even though I chose a chocolate bar.
Secondly, we had a wonderful time, climbing the rocks near the ocean-front and wow he is a nimble guy on those rocks.  He loves to lead the way and have me follow him; but when I challenged him w/more treacherous rocks to climb, he was happy to follow my lead, then we'd sit, closer to the water.  He took it upon himself to sit between my legs looking outward, quiet and content....and rather than pull away, he just received it, when I kiss, kiss, kissed the side of his head.  (The ONLY other time I can get a kiss or cuddles from him is when he's very tired or if I have something he wants, I'll say, "Kissy first!" and he will come running with a smile and give me a big kiss.  We've come a long way, until recently he'd come running and only kiss my hand or arm, now he kisses my face.)
Anyway, we ended up walking the entire boardwalk, down to the boat launch.  He walked on the wall, asking me to hold his hand for balance.  I'd either "fly" him over openings (his arms outstretched) or if they were close enough, he would run and jump across.
Both he and his brother are very into Super Hero's.  They have been wearing some sort of Super Hero costume every day when @ home and recently were gifted w/their favorite figurines.  They call them their Supers.  The other day, he had given me a page of a group of them that he had colored for me.  I told him that I knew Super Man and Bat Man, but asked the names of the others.  Oh boy he so enjoyed telling me, very seriously their names and, when applicable, their alter ego names.  There was Super Man "who is also Clark Kent", Bat Man "who is also Bruce Wayne", The Flash "who is also Barry Gordon", Martian ManHunter, Wonder Woman, "who is also the Amazonian Princess Diana", Green Lantern, "who is also Hal Jordan" and Aqua Man in the background.
This is the most recent photo I have of him:

Climbing Rocks - May, 2013

Goodbye for now, Sir Isaac.  I sure do love you.

Goal Met: My Boys Came to Terceira Island

I'm so proud of me.  It's one thing when others are proud of you, but it's always meant a little more to me when I am proud of me.  I remember when I booked their tickets...and I smiled as I saw the total price, including a full day tour for them starting out in Portugal, was within $6 of the money I had saved from my organizing work here on the island from November-April.  In true Casey fashion, having waited until the last minute to get his passport applied for, we were down to the wire for the tickets to get his passport # attached to them.  It came in with 5 days to spare.
Wendi and the 3 kids were in South Florida, enjoying family and time away from this rainy island for the 2nd week, John was busy doing his thing all week and I had gotten the skeleton of my organizing website built and up.
Knowing they were on Sao Miguel all day, only a 30 minute flight away by Wednesday, I just wanted to press the FFWD button on the day, until it was time to pick them up @ the airport @ 8P.  By the time John was in the kitchen preparing a special Mediterranean dinner for their arrival, I was pacing and asking him to give me something to do to help the time pass.  Then, soon enough, I was off to the airport and there they were.  Upon first sight of them, I didn't know if I wanted to just stare @ them or hug them.  So, I did both.  Casey said, "Wow mom, now that I see you, it doesn't feel like almost a year @ all!"  After John's warm welcome of a wonderful dinner and getting to know each other a bit, I showed them to their room.  In true Colin fashion, he went to bed w/in 15 minutes, leaving Casey and I to stay up talking until I don't even know what time.
Having traveled from Tuesday morning through Wednesday evening, they were tired and there was the 4 hour time difference to get their inner clocks switched over to.  I woke them @ 11A and it was a beautiful, sunny, warm day.  They swam first:

Then we took a long walk along the ocean front, giving Casey the opportunity to scope out good skate spots:

We deviated from the ocean-front to walk up through the village of Porto Martins.  We came upon an abandoned property, where Casey found some old-abandoned treasures for some mixed media art ideas he had going in his head. We were also surprised to find an old easel that he could use during his visit and we could re-purpose for something in John's garden.
The next few days were packed w/showing them the sights in Praia, Angra, Porto Judeau, Villa Nova, etc.  My friend Mianna organized a great little BBQ in her back yard, on base to welcome them.  We spent a day w/Carly Swenson, w/whom Casey connected with as a fellow artist and we did a lot of thing finding and photography through abandoned buildings, finding skate spots.
We went to the Bull Fight @ the Arena in Angra and we attended a village bull run.  While these were cultural experiences that I am glad we got to be part of, and I have a good knowledge base as to where they came from and how they developed, I found them to be an example of human cowardice and inhumane; to the dichotomy of the celebration of the Holy Spirit gatherings we were privileged to be a part of.
Sam and Lindsey Helfrich offered us a full day - paid-in-full - of a personal tour w/their good friend and cabbie to ensure we saw the Furnas', caves, the city of Angra, Split Rock, etc. - w/lots of flexibility to stop for good skateboard filming and culminating w/a wonderful Filet Mignon and Grouper dinner overlooking Split Rock.  Needless to say, I have tons of photo's, so to save space, I'm just putting up some of my favorites:

I love the happy I see in Colin's eyes and I love that I was able to get this shot with my Portuguese Amiga, Hita

Colin and Scrubby bonded

Brothers - a perfect depiction of them

All too soon, it was time to bring them back to the airport and say goodbye.  Of course we went early to get that one video shot of Casey skateboarding a great spot right in front of the airport.  So different from the States, even a police officer passed right by us, smiled, nodded and went on to the Cafe across the street.  I noticed the customs officer watching me as tears filled my eyes, watching them leave.  The tears were not so much from sadness, but from gratitude of the time we had together again, just the 3 of us in PORTUGAL for g'ness sakes.  And, easy to wipe away as I knew I'd be seeing them in just 3 weeks.

Commission: Lightness & Peace (NakedCarlyArt-Carly Swenson)

I am sharing the blog post put up by our renowned artist that we have had the privilege of monopolizing on this island.  She enlisted my organizing expertise for her studio and after working together, I asked if she would trade a personal artwork piece.  And this is what she wrote, along w/posting photo's of her work in progress:
This client had an opportunity most people don’t.  Since she helped me to organize my art studio over the course of 5 hours, she was able to find and set aside bits of text, images, and ephemera that she wanted included in her custom work of art.  She is a fascinating woman with a delightful sense of humor, and while I felt I knew enough about her to create the piece (especially with her helping to pick out the visual elements), I still felt a little nervous about the work.  I am pleased with how the piece developed and the manner in which all the all her chosen elements were included into the canvas collage.  I suppose the work, much like my client herself, is a bit enigmatic, some concepts seem obvious yet hold underlying tones of contradiction to those preconceived expectations.  Other aesthetics are far more subtle, however, they still have looming significance.
To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure if my client was going to be pleased with this work or not.  I do understand that I can’t please everyone, and my confidence in the reaction from the intended recipient of the work does vary from one piece to another.  However, I was delighted when she was more than
content with her finished work.